Ne croyez pas que je sois venu apporter la paix sur la terre; je ne suis pas venu apporter la paix, mais l’épée. Car je suis venu mettre la division entre l’homme et son père, entre la fille et sa mère, entre la belle-fille et sa belle-mère; et l’homme aura pour ennemis les gens de sa maison. Jésus (Matthieu 10 : 34-36)
Il n’y a plus ni Juif ni Grec, il n’y a plus ni esclave ni libre, il n’y a plus ni homme ni femme; car tous vous êtes un en Jésus Christ. Paul (Galates 3: 28)
Il faut peut-être entendre par démocratie les vices de quelques-uns à la portée du plus grand nombre. Henry Becque
Il ne faut pas dissimuler que les institutions démocratiques développent à un très haut niveau le sentiment de l’envie dans le coeur humain. Ce n’est point tant parce qu’elle offrent à chacun les moyens de s’égaler aux autres, mais parce que ces moyens défaillent sans cesse à ceux qui les emploient. Les institutions démocratiques réveillent et flattent la passion de l’égalité sans pouvoir jamais la satisfaire entièrement. Cette égalité complète s’échappe tous les jours des mains du peuples au moment où il croit la saisir, et fuit, comme dit Pascal, d’une fuite éternelle; le peuple s’échauffe à la recherche de ce bien d’autant plus précieux qu’il est assez proche pour être connu et assez loin pour ne pas être goûté. Tout ce qui le dépasse par quelque endroit lui paraît un obstacle à ses désirs, et il n’y a pas de supériorité si légitime dont la vue ne fatigue sas yeux. Tocqueville
Il y a en effet une passion mâle et légitime pour l’égalité qui excite les hommes à vouloir être tous forts et estimés. Cette passion tend à élever les petits au rang des grands ; mais il se rencontre aussi dans le cœur humain un goût dépravé pour l’égalité, qui porte les faibles à vouloir attirer les forts à leur niveau, et qui réduit les hommes à préférer l’égalité dans la servitude à l’inégalité dans la liberté. Tocqueville
Si vous admettez qu’un homme revêtu de la toute-puissance peut en abuser contre ses adversaires, pourquoi n’admettez-vous pas la même chose pour une majorité? (…) Le pouvoir de tout faire, que je refuse à un seul de mes semblables, je ne l’accorderai jamais à plusieurs. Tocqueville
Depuis que l’ordre religieux est ébranlé – comme le christianisme le fut sous la Réforme – les vices ne sont pas seuls à se trouver libérés. Certes les vices sont libérés et ils errent à l’aventure et ils font des ravages. Mais les vertus aussi sont libérées et elles errent, plus farouches encore, et elles font des ravages plus terribles encore. Le monde moderne est envahi des veilles vertus chrétiennes devenues folles. Les vertus sont devenues folles pour avoir été isolées les unes des autres, contraintes à errer chacune en sa solitude. Chesterton
L’oppression mentale totalitaire est faite de piqûres de moustiques et non de grands coups sur la tête. (…) Quel fut le moyen de propagande le plus puissant de l’hitlérisme? Etaient-ce les discours isolés de Hitler et de Goebbels, leurs déclarations à tel ou tel sujet, leurs propos haineux sur le judaïsme, sur le bolchevisme? Non, incontestablement, car beaucoup de choses demeuraient incomprises par la masse ou l’ennuyaient, du fait de leur éternelle répétition.[…] Non, l’effet le plus puissant ne fut pas produit par des discours isolés, ni par des articles ou des tracts, ni par des affiches ou des drapeaux, il ne fut obtenu par rien de ce qu’on était forcé d’enregistrer par la pensée ou la perception. Le nazisme s’insinua dans la chair et le sang du grand nombre à travers des expressions isolées, des tournures, des formes syntaxiques qui s’imposaient à des millions d’exemplaires et qui furent adoptées de façon mécanique et inconsciente. Victor Klemperer (LTI, la langue du IIIe Reich)
On a commencé avec la déconstruction du langage et on finit avec la déconstruction de l’être humain dans le laboratoire. (…) Elle est proposée par les mêmes qui d’un côté veulent prolonger la vie indéfiniment et nous disent de l’autre que le monde est surpeuplé. René Girard
Si j’étais législateur, je proposerais tout simplement la disparition du mot et du concept de “mariage” dans un code civil et laïque. Le “mariage”, valeur religieuse, sacrale, hétérosexuelle – avec voeu de procréation, de fidélité éternelle, etc. -, c’est une concession de l’Etat laïque à l’Eglise chrétienne – en particulier dans son monogamisme qui n’est ni juif (il ne fut imposé aux juifs par les Européens qu’au siècle dernier et ne constituait pas une obligation il y a quelques générations au Maghreb juif) ni, cela on le sait bien, musulman. En supprimant le mot et le concept de “mariage”, cette équivoque ou cette hypocrisie religieuse et sacrale, qui n’a aucune place dans une constitution laïque, on les remplacerait par une “union civile” contractuelle, une sorte de pacs généralisé, amélioré, raffiné, souple et ajusté entre des partenaires de sexe ou de nombre non imposé.(…) C’est une utopie mais je prends date. Jacques Derrida
C’est le sens de l’histoire (…) Pour la première fois en Occident, des hommes et des femmes homosexuels prétendent se passer de l’acte sexuel pour fonder une famille. Ils transgressent un ordre procréatif qui a reposé, depuis 2000 ans, sur le principe de la différence sexuelle. Evelyne Roudinesco
North Carolina remains in the spotlight as home to the most preposterous arguments over not only privacy issues, but the subject of “transgender children” as well. The latest news to pop up this week was a pending decision by the Charlotte-Mecklenburg School System (CMS) to adjust their policies so that teachers and administrators will no longer refer to students as boys or girls. (…) It’s easy enough to try to shrug your shoulders or laugh this off as yet another case of Social Justice Warriors running the system off the rails, but there are serious concerns to be dealt with here. As I’ve written repeatedly, what adults do is pretty much up to them if they’re not harming or imposing on the rights of anyone else as far as I’m concerned. But children are a different matter. It’s true that some families have obviously fallen into this trap and are going along with the idea of their offspring impersonating the gender opposite to their chromosomal structure, but unless they involve a doctor and start pumping chemicals into the kids to thwart their physical development there’s not much we can do about it. But even if we accept that sad situation as a given, the ones who still want to take an active role in the development and protection of their children should at least be given the chance. Look at the potential fallout from these guidelines. Would you want your daughter being sent to an all girl sleepover camp in a group including boys dressed as girls without your knowing it? And if your own child began “identifying” as the wrong gender, as a parent shouldn’t you at least have the right to be involved in that conversation whether you support such a course of action or not? This is nothing short of insanity. We’re talking about impressionable children here who aren’t legally considered responsible enough to give consent for taking an aspirin if they have a headache at school. And the administration is going to intentionally hide this sort of behavior from the parents? If you live in this district or any other in the country considering such policies it’s high time you look into homeschooling options. The country is losing its collective mind and taking your children with it. Hot air
L’inceste (du latin incestum : souillure, à rapprocher de incesto rendre impur1) désigne une relation sexuelle entre membres proches d’une même famille. Considéré comme un tabou dans la plupart des sociétés, il prend cependant différentes formes selon les formations sociales, concernant non seulement la sexualité mais également les mécanismes de filiation et de mariage. La définition de la parenté, et ce que sont des parents trop proches, varie selon les sociétés et les époques, et selon les circonstances. Il y a une typologie de l’inceste fondée sur le discours social à propos du degré de proximité et le genre de parenté biologique, imaginaire et symbolique, discours social d’où découle le sentiment incestueux. Il y a une importante distance entre culture et nature puisque des études en Islande, ont montré que les mariages entre cousins du troisième et quatrième degré seraient plus féconds que des mariages entre personnes non apparentées. (…) La notion d’inceste est variable d’une époque à l’autre et d’un groupe social à un autre, comme le reflète la différence des législations. Il faut distinguer la criminalisation de l’inceste, c’est-à-dire son appréhension par le droit pénal, et les règles de droit civil régissant le mariage, ainsi que le fait que l’inceste soit commis sur un mineur (majorité civile, et non simplement sexuelle) ou entre personnes majeures et consentantes. Nombre de pays s’abstiennent de criminaliser l’inceste entre personnes majeures et consentantes tout en interdisant le mariage entre proches, par parenté ou filiation. En revanche, l’inceste sur mineur est le plus souvent considéré comme une forme d’agression sexuelle ou, plus généralement, d’abus sexuel sur mineur. (…) Le droit français ne mentionne pas explicitement l’inceste, pas plus que dans la législation de l’Ancien Régime. Cependant, le Code pénal reconnaît comme circonstance aggravante le fait qu’une agression sexuelle, une atteinte sexuelle ou un viol sur un mineur soit commis par un « ascendant légitime naturel ou adoptif ou toute personne ayant autorité sur la victime ». Par ailleurs, le Code civil interdit, depuis 1804, le mariage entre personnes dont les liens de parenté vont jusqu’au troisième degré. Wikipedia
Le terme est inventé aux États-Unis dans les années 1980 par Barbara Gonyo, fondatrice de Truth Seekers In Adoption, un groupe de soutien, basé à Chicago, destiné aux personnes adoptées ainsi qu’à leurs nouveaux parents. L ’attirance sexuelle génétique est présumée résulter d’une séquelle possible réunissant des liens consanguins à l’âge adulte, généralement en tant qu’élément constitutif de retrouvailles tardives survenant après une scission originelle consécutive à une mesure d’adoption ayant séparé une fratrie ou tout autre lien familial durant les premières années de l’existence. Le nombre croissant de retrouvailles intervenant entre frères et sœurs à la faveur du développement des moyens mis en œuvre (dont l’accès à Internet) ainsi que la popularisation des tests ADN laisse augurer la perspective que le phénomène pourrait bel et bien s’amplifier avec les années. Si la relation sexuelle est consommée, elle est alors non seulement confrontée au tabou de l’inceste mais elle tombe également sous le coup de la loi avec toutes les conséquences juridiques susceptibles d’en découler, tant pour les deux parties impliquées que pour les familles directement ou indirectement associées à l’équation. L’ASG ne survient que rarement entre enfants ayant grandi ensemble en raison d’une sublimation de l’attrait sexuel, plus connue sous l’appellation d’effet Westermarck, qui désactive naturellement la propension à un quelconque rapprochement physique érotisé. L’hypothèse la plus couramment admise étant que cette désensibilisation par rapport à une éventuelle forme d’attirance sexuelle consanguine intervient naturellement à dessein de prévenir toute inflexion procréatrice intrafamiliale qui serait alors génératrice de consanguinité. Wikipedia
True love can do anything. This whole case is about whether I have the right to love somebody and I sure as hell have the right to love Monica. You can’t tell me who to love, who not to love. Caleb Peterson
I’ve told them I still love you guys either way. I support them. I would like to see the government get out of their business and let them live a normal life – let them live how they want to live. It would be different if it was a domestic violence situation but it’s not. My point of view is they need to be allowed to live just how they are that’s what America is built on. Dayton Chavez (Mares’ ex and father to two of her sons)
What goes on between consenting adults in private should not be legislated. That is not the proper domain of our law. … If we assume for a moment that both parties [involved in incest] are consenting, then why are we prosecuting this? David Epstein (Columbia University political science professor)
Academically, we are obviously all morally opposed to incest and rightfully so. At the same time, there is an argument to be made in the Swiss case to let go what goes on privately in bedrooms. It’s ok for homosexuals to do whatever they want in their own home. How is this so different? We have to figure out why some behaviour is tolerated and some is not. Matthew Galluzzo (lawyer)
The basic question is, should consenting adults be denied their fundamental right to be together? Marriage equality blog
Imagine a man and woman meet in a bar. They’ve never met before. They go outside for a smoke. They get into an argument and the jerk slugs her. That is assault. But is it domestic violence? No? What if I told you that unbeknownst to them, they have the same genetic father, a sperm donor neither one has met? Is it domestic violence then? No? What if… instead of slugging her, he wasn’t a jerk and instead romanced her for the evening and they ended up having passionate sex. Is that incest? You can say it is incest biologically, but not sociologically. They were not raised together. They aren’t even aware they are related yet. Things like this have happened. Some people who experience Genetic Sexual Attraction had no idea they were genetically related before they met, fell in love, had sex, or even had children together. Judgmental finger-waggers cite the genetic connection as to why this is incest. This is because « she raised him » is not an option for why they are upset. The finger-waggers like to use that one when, say, a man and his grown stepdaughter have sexual relationship. Some finger-waggers go even further. Let’s say that instead of starting a relationship with his grown stepdaughter, his son, whom the stepdaughter never lived with, meets her as an adult and starts a relationship with her. Some of the finger-waggers still say this is wrong, even if the man is no longer married to her mother. People would use just about any argument to condemn a relationship with which they are not comfortable. But we’d all be a lot better off if we put aside our prejudices and recognized that consenting adults should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage. Even if someone is disgusted. We’d also be better off if we recognized that Genetic Sexual Attraction does exist, and it is a mitigating factor when, say, a 32 year-old woman breaks California’s age of consent barrier with a 16 year-old. The problem with calling the Atkinson case incest is that incest conjures up images of (in this case) a woman grooming the boy she is raising to be her assault victim. This is a case of Genetic Sexual Attraction and statutory rape. She did not raise him. She was not his guardian. This was a case where one of the participants was not a legal adult, able to legally consent. When the participants are consenting adults, I prefer the term consanguinamory to distinguish loving, consensual sex from images of some vile old man raping an prepubescent girl. Rape and love are not the same things. There is no good reason why adults who are not violating existing vows to others, who are right for each other, should feel a need to refrain from being together in whatever way they want. Unfortunately, laws and prejudices in many places still need to catch up with reality. But what about finding support from others in the same situation? Genetic Sexual Attraction is a phenomenon that may or may not actually lead to sex. However, if sex is involved, it is not incest from the sociological perspective, but still may be considered incest by outsiders, including law enforcement, as it is incest in the genetic sense. It is very easy for people who haven’t experience GSA or witnessed it happening first-hand to scoff and deny it’s reality. But ignorance does not determine reality. Marriage equality blog
At a genetic level we are conditioned to find people who look like us attractive. In the first seconds of meeting someone, we make a judgement about whether they are friend or foe, and whether they can help us reproduce our genes. We have an almost tribal connection with family members with similar features. At the same time, people who are adopted or fostered feel deeply rejected. They have experienced a profound wound which isn’t easily healed. So when a son meets his birth mother, he feels a great rush of need. There’s an attraction and a longing there, and when it’s combined with the appeal of genetic similarity, it becomes a very powerful and complex cocktail which is incredibly seductive. Corinne Sweet
Après le mariage, l’inceste pour tous !
A l’heure où après la guerre des toilettes …
C’est à l’appellation genrée « fille » ou « garçon » elle-même que s’attaquent au nom de la lutte contre le harcèlement les plus plus progressistes des écoles américaines …
Comment ne pas voir l’implacable logique de la prochaine étape où nous entraine la lutte pour l’égalité à tout prix ….
A savoir le plus ancien des tabous …
Et la simplicité quasi-biblique de la méthode employée pour y arriver:
Suffisait de le rebaptiser « attirance sexuelle consanguine » ?
Christophe Da Silva
9/08/16
S’ils sont déclarés coupables d’inceste, Monica Mares (36 ans) et son fils Caleb Peterson (19 ans) risquent 18 mois de prison et une amende de 5.000 dollars dans l’état du Nouveau Mexique (États-Unis).
Comme le relatent plusieurs médias locaux, le juge devra trancher dans cette affaire délicate. C’est que Monica Mares (36 ans) et son fils Caleb Peterson (19 ans) entretiennent une relation particulière. S’ils sont déclarés coupables d’inceste, ils risquent 18 mois de prison et une amende de 5.000 dollars dans l’état du Nouveau Mexique (États-Unis). Ils seront fixés sur leur sort le 15 septembre prochain.
Un « coup de foudre »
Monica Mares, qui est tombée enceinte à l’âge de 16 ans, avait d’abord fait adopter son fils. Arrivé à sa majorité, Caleb Peterson (qui s’appelait d’abord Carlos à sa naissance) a contacté sa mère via Facebook. La maman, très émue à l’heure de revoir son fils, a été lui rendre visite dans sa maison au Texas.
À en croire leurs paroles, Monica Mares et Caleb Peterson ont eu un « coup de foudre » pour leurs retrouvailles.
« Il ressent le besoin de prendre soin d’elle »
« Caleb a reconnu avoir eu plusieurs relations sexuelles avec sa mère. Il a déclaré que sa mère avait toujours eu la poisse avec les hommes. Caleb a ressenti le besoin de prendre soin d’elle », précise la presse américaine.
Monica Mares a brisé le silence dans le Daily Mail. Elle a affirmé être prête à aller en prison par amour pour son fils.
Condamnable dans 50 états mais…
« Je me dois d’être avec lui. Quand je sors de prison, je compte aller dans un état qui nous permettra d’être ensemble », a-t-elle confié.
L’inceste est un délit condamnable dans 50 états des États-Unis mais les détails et les peines de prison varient d’un état à l’autre.
« Aucune manière de nous séparer »
« S’ils doivent m’enfermer par amour et bien qu’ils le fassent. Il n’y a aucune manière de nous séparer. La vérité est que je l’aime. Être loin de lui me fait mal », a ajouté Monica Mares.
Dans l’attente de leur jugement, Monica Mares et Caleb Peterson ne peuvent plus se contacter.
8 August 2016
Mother-of-nine Mares said she would even give up the right to see her other children if she was asked to choose between them and her lover.
The couple who currently live separately in Clovis, New Mexico – and are banned from having any contact with each other by the courts – first embarked on their love affair towards the end of last year.
Mares was just 16 when she gave birth to Peterson – whose pre-adoption name was Carlos – and he was adopted as a baby.
The 36-year-old, who didn’t raise Peterson, saw him for the first time in 18 years last Christmas when she picked him up at his adoptive father’s house in Texas and brought him to her home after the pair got in touch over Facebook.
The couple soon developed romantic feelings for each other and their relationship became sexual a few weeks later.
‘The first time I met my son in person I was so happy and excited I gave him a big hug,’ Mares said.’I went to go pick him up at his dad’s house in Texas.
‘He gave me a call and asked me to pick him up, I got butterflies in my stomach.
‘I met him outside and I knew it was him when he came towards me. He was crying and he gave me a hug.
‘It was almost love at first sight but first it was mother love. He gave me a mother hug.
‘He came home in the truck and came to live with me and we were both happy as mother and son.’
Mares said that at first nothing happened but she then started getting these ‘crazy’ feelings.
She said it felt different because she didn’t raise him as her child yet after all these years he came back to her.
‘It felt like I met somebody new in my life and I fell in love with him,’ she explained.
She continued: ‘At first I told him, « I’m sorry I don’t know how you are going to react to this. I’m your mom and you’re my son, but I’m falling in love with you ».
‘And he said: « You know what I am too. I was scared to let you know ». He was falling in love with his mom and I was falling in love with my son.
‘We talked about it and we took off to the park. I said, « Would you ever date your mom? » And he said: « would you ever date your son? » And I said, « Honest truth yes I would ».’
Mares says Peterson is the best thing that has happened to her in the past 19 years and wants to be with him for the rest of her life.
She understands that she risks losing all her children and going to state prison but they both want to fight it.
‘Caleb is willing to go through the same thing. Whatever it takes to be together,’ she said.
At first the couple lived happily together in Mares’ mobile home with her two youngest children Uriah and Joseph – keeping their relationship a secret from the world.
Mares’ youngest son even began calling Peterson ‘dad’.
But police soon found out about the clandestine affair during a call over a row between the family and some neighbors.
The couple was charged with incest – a fourth-degree felony in New Mexico – following the February 25th incident.
They were arraigned and appeared jointly in court in April – but were held in custody for breaching their no-contact order.
They were released on $5,000 bond and now face a trial by jury in September.
Currently Mares is not allowed to see any of her children or have any contact at all with Peterson.Yet she maintains that is has all been worth it.
‘It is every bit worth it,’ she said. ‘If they lock me up for love then they lock me up. There is no way anybody could pull us apart, and I really do love him.
‘It hurts he is far away. It hurts really bad. I wish I could see him, talk to him, but I can’t risk it.’
Peterson said he started falling love with his mom about a week after meeting her – but claims as he grew up with an adopted parents he never really saw Mares as his mother.
‘I never had anyone cook me meals or give me anything,’ he said. ‘I never got anything my entire life and she went out of her way to make me happy and after about a week or so I started having feelings for her and I guess I fell in love.
‘It went beyond a mother-son relationship I never really viewed her as my mom. In certain aspects I do but mostly I don’t.
‘I never thought I was crazy for having these feelings because I didn’t see her as my mom, it was more like going to a club and meeting a random person. It didn’t feel wrong, it felt normal.’
Peterson claims it was him who made the first move not his mom.
He recalls: ‘We were hanging out just talking and I looked at her and she looked at me and I kissed her.
‘It was a real kiss it had feelings behind it, there was a spark that ever since then it just stayed.
‘Honestly I never thought we would get into trouble for our relationship. We were both consenting adults – when it comes down to it.
‘She’s adult I’m adult I can make my own decisions. I never thought it would blow up into something like this.’
Mares also said that it didn’t feel strange or wrong when the couple began their sexual relationship – but admits that it probably wouldn’t have happened if she had raised Peterson.
‘The first time we were physical ended up holding hands and then we ended up kissing and the kissing led to other things,’ she said. ‘I felt comfortable with him and we fell even more deeply in love.
‘If he had been with me all his life I don’t think anything would have happened between us.’
As well as legal trouble, the couple has met opposition from friends, neighbors, family members and the wider community.
Mares has been attacked outside her home and subjected to death threats.
She said: ‘I’ve been having a lot of trouble from the people in Clovis. They call me incest.
Mares says other moms she knows don’t understand what she’s going through but says her kids have said they will love her no matter what.
But with a torn look on her face, she added: ‘But if I had to choose between my son and all my other kids I’d chose him.’
Peterson added: ‘My dad walked out on me because of it.
‘There’s a lot of negative comments I read on Facebook and things – people say it’s disgusting, it’s gross, she’s your mom but it doesn’t hurt me or affect me at all.
‘If they were in my situation or if they were to find out that somebody they loved was actually related to them then they’d be saying the exact opposite.’
Peterson admits that sometimes he wonders if he should have done things differently – if only to spare his family the pain.
But he said that even if the judge offered to spare him jail if he stopped all contact with his mother, he would refuse.
And he has vowed to wait for Mares if she is jailed and he isn’t.
‘Sometimes the easy way isn’t the best way,’ he said. ‘Sometimes we have to make that life decision that’s going to change and affect everything but when it comes down to it, it’s worth it.
‘I will wait for her if she gets a jail sentence and I don’t. For me it’s not about patience it’s about commitment.
‘If I’m committed to something I follow it through that’s the kind of person I am.
‘If I love her enough and I’m crazy enough to stay in Clovis for her and crazy enough to face all the courts for her then waiting a bit of time to have the rest of my life being happy then I’m willing to do that.’
Daily Mail Online interviewed the couple separately to ensure they did not breach their court order.
As a sign of his love and commitment, Peterson left a rose for Mares on the bench at the park in Clovis where the couple first expressed their love for each other.
He said: ‘She’s never had anyone give her a rose. If I could I’d give her everything she wants. I miss talking to her and seeing her. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her.
‘If I could speak to her now I would say to her: « I love you and I miss you and I can’t wait to see you again. »‘
Despite the immense opposition to the couple’s relationship, Mares and Peterson do have supporters in the community – including Dayton Chavez, Mares’ ex and father to two of her sons Moses, nine, and Joseph, 12.
He said: ‘I’ve told them I still love you guys either way. I support them.
‘I would like to see the government get out of their business and let them live a normal life – let them live how they want to live.
‘It would be different if it was a domestic violence situation but it’s not.
‘My point of view is they need to be allowed to live just how they are that’s what America is built on.’
Voir également:
11 April 2016
No one had their confetti ready though.
Across the internet, West and her toy boy lover were treated as circus freaks, called “sick on every level”. Some even demanded that West be sectioned and now it’s emerged they’ve gone into hiding fearing a jail sentence.It’s interesting that the public was so outraged, because the couple’s story is far from unique. In fact, a number of family romances have emerged over the last decade – and I can’t see them stopping any time soon. There have been cases of grandparents settling down with grandchildren, fathers and daughters in love, and even twins twinned up.What makes all these relationships tick isn’t love, or looks, or destiny, but – more likely – Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA). It’s the phenomenon no one wants to talk about – because it raises a taboo topic: incest.
But it’s real – and with advances in fertility options, something we need to get our heads round. Fast.GSA describes a powerful sexual attraction that occurs when biological relatives – parent and offspring, siblings or half siblings or first and second cousins – meet for the first time as adults. It was first identified in the 1980s by Barbara Gonyo, who fell madly in love with her son. After they reunited in adulthood, Gonyo struggled for 13 years to break off feelings for him.That’s what GSA is: a struggle. When people criticise West, they overestimate her degree of control in the situation. Often GSA sufferers feel powerless – as if their feelings are impossible to change. There have been heartbreaking cases of families broken apart by GSA. It’s an affliction; a curse for all those involved.
« A number of family romances have emerged over the last decade – and I can’t see them stopping any time soon. »
Quite why GSA occurs is still up for discussion. There isn’t a great deal of research into the area, because who wants a PhD in incest? Some researchers have hypothesised, however, that an effect in infancy protects against GSA. When families live closely together, they become desensitised to each other as sexual prospects. This desensitisation effect is said to happen between birth and age six. Without it, and when relatives meet later in life, GSA can occur. Evidence from the Post-Adoption Centre and University College London suggests that GSA it happens in 50 percent of reunion cases.Put in this context, West becomes far less of a freak and more of regularity. It is only her pride in her relationship that has perplexed others, as many GSA couples feel deeply upset about what’s happened to them. There are even communities online for them to anonymously discuss their relationships.In the future, I hope they won’t have to hide away. I think that will be less likely as a result of increases in fertility options, which have dramatically upped the potential for GSA cases.
The anonymity in sperm and egg donation could lead to more GSA Credit: Alamy
Perhaps one of the biggest causes for concern is egg and sperm donation. Over the last few decades, it has never been easier for organisations – and individuals – to dish out large quantities of eggs and sperm to different locations. The last Human Fertilisation & Embryology (HFEA) report shows that sperm donations, especially, have been rising since 2005 – with many coming from the US and Denmark.This seed sprinkling will essentially mean lots of children go through life without ever knowing their biological father and/ or mother, and other important close relatives, in the time where the desensitisation effect should happen.
« Those who succumb to GSA are not sickos, or freaks, but victims who desperately need help and understanding. »
Should they never meet with their (unknown) biological family, then they will never put themselves at risk of GSA. But such reunions have become much easier – especially as new rules brought out by the HFEA mean that any child conceived on or after April 2005 can now seek information on their parents when they turn 16 years old. This will inevitably mean more children discovering their biological relatives in adulthood, with the potential for hundreds, if not thousands, of more GSA cases.And when these individuals do find that they have suddenly fallen in love with Mummy, Daddy, or Cousin Jimmy, there will be very limited routes to help them. Just as there are for Kim West.Instead of mocking this tale of motherly love (gone too far), I wish people though of West as an opportunity to consider GSA, and how we can prevent and treat it in the future. Those who succumb to GSA are not sickos, or freaks, but victims who desperately need help and understanding. Their feelings are not controllable, but with scientific research and support, we can give them some degree in control over this devastating affliction. And stop the cases we know are bound to come and keep coming.
Psychologist Corinne Sweet said « people who are adopted or fostered feel deeply rejected. They have experienced a profound wound which isn’t easily healed »
A man and his biological mother have sparked headlines around the world after announcing they are planning to marry and have children after becoming involved in a sexual relationship.
Ben Ford, 32, was reunited with his mother Kim West, 51, in December 2013, nearly 30 years after she gave him up for adoption.
After experiencing an ‘instant bond’ they started a sexual relationship which resulted in Ben leaving his wife – named as Victoria.
The couple insist their ‘incredible’ sex life is not incest, but ‘Genetic Sexual Attraction’, a term used for relatives who feel sexual attraction for each other after meeting as adults.
Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) is when sexual feelings develop between two family members who first meet as adults.
It can happen to siblings, half-siblings, parents and children, usually when one has been abandoned, adopted or raised apart due to divorce or separation.
In the UK, sex with a parent, child, sibling, nephew, niece, uncle or aunt is defined as incest and is illegal under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 with a maximum two-year penalty.
In the US, rules vary and the state of Rhode Island actually decriminalised incest in 1989.
The term GSA was coined in the US in the 1980s by Barbara Gonyo, who founded a support group after her experience with the son she met 26 years after adoption.
What the expert says
Writing in the New Day newspaper, psychologist Corinne Sweet explained: « At a genetic level we are conditioned to find people who look like us attractive.
« In the first seconds of meeting someone, we make a judgement about whether they are friend or foe, and whether they can help us reproduce our genes.
« We have an almost tribal connection with family members with similar features.
« At the same time, people who are adopted or fostered feel deeply rejected.
« They have experienced a profound wound which isn’t easily healed.
« So when a son meets his birth mother, he feels a great rush of need.
« There’s an attraction and a longing there, and when it’s combined with the appeal of genetic similarity, it becomes a very powerful and complex cocktail which is incredibly seductive. »
A CMS presentation to principals and counselors recommends kids are not referred to as boys and girls, but instead as scholars and students.
DOCUMENT: CMS transgender student presentation
Eliminating boy and girl references is one of several policies included in the CMS bully prevention regulations.
One policy allows students to participate in extracurricular activities and overnight field trips based on their gender identity. A student who identifies as a girl would be allowed to participate in an « all-girl » overnight trip.
Another policy says CMS must evaluate all gender-based activities and « maintain only those that have clear and sound pedagogical purpose. »
The North Carolina Values Coalition calls the rules radical and a violation of privacy.
« School is no longer about reading, writing and arithmetic. It is now about gender fluidity, » Tami Fitzgerald of the NC Values Coalition said.
CMS officials say the policies in the presentation are meant to serve as guidelines.
« CMS remains fully committed to supporting its transgender students and nurturing a safe and welcoming environment for every student and employee, » CMS Chief Communications Officer Kathryn Block said.
A well-known part of the policy has to do with bathrooms. It says students can use the bathroom of the gender they identify with. However that won’t be implemented at the start of school because the U.S. Supreme Court put a hold on a federal judge’s order that would have allowed this.
The NC Values Coalition plans to hold a rally outside the Government Center before the school board meeting Tuesday.
Voir enfin:
Un homme et son harem. Aux États-Unis, l’idée n’est plus si baroque qu’il n’y paraît. Alors qu’en 2001, seulement 7 % des Américains voyaient dans la polygamie une pratique « moralement acceptable », ils sont aujourd’hui 16 % à la considérer favorablement, selon le sondage Gallup. Depuis le début des années 2000, cet institut prend le pouls de la population sur des sujets de société sensibles aux États-Unis, comme l’euthanasie, l’avortement ou la peine de mort.
Certes, ces 16 % de la population à considérer la polygamie comme « moralement acceptable » représentent toujours une minorité. Mais parmi les dix-neuf « tabous » évoqués dans le sondage, il est celui qui a connu la plus grande évolution vers l’acceptation. Dans les résultats de l’enquête publiée le 26 mai dernier, la polygamie arrivait en cinquième position des thèmes controversés dont l’image s’était améliorée, juste après les relations homosexuelles, le fait d’avoir un enfant et des relations sexuelles hors mariage, le divorce et la recherche médicale sur les cellules souches obtenues à partir d’embryons humains. Aujourd’hui aux États-Unis, il est même plus acceptable d’être polygame que d’entretenir des relations extraconjugales (ce que seuls 8 % des Américains juge moralement admissible).
La culture pop a peut-être contribué à démocratiser la polygamie, devenue tour à tour sujet d’une fiction diffusée sur HBO depuis 2013, Big Love, et de deux émissions de téléréalité, « My Five Wives » et « Sister Wives ». Mais certains attribuent cette évolution à « une vision libertaire, à un laissez-faire des jeunes Américains en ce qui concerne le sexe, le mariage et la vie de famille » (Brad Wilcox du National Marriage Project (NMP)), tandis que d’autres y voient un « effondrement des valeurs » ou une conséquence du lobbying LGBT. L’origine de ce changement est peut-être plus complexe, car la pratique polygame se trouve à la croisée des chemins de plusieurs influences américaines, entre « le libéralisme social, le fondamentalisme religieux et le polyamour radical », explique Samantha Allen, journaliste du Daily Beast. Aujourd’hui, les polygames seraient entre 50.000 et 100.000 et, pour la plupart, « musulmans et mormons fondamentalistes », poursuit-elle, en précisant que la majorité sont polygynes (un homme avec plusieurs femmes) et non polyandres (une femme avec plusieurs hommes).
Si déjà plusieurs observateurs prédisent sa légalisation – elle sera reconnue « en 2040, dans l’indifférence générale », déclare l’éditorialiste Ross Douthat en conclusion de son article dans le New York Times -, la pratique, malgré sa petite popularité, a toujours mauvaise presse. Car elle reste associée à des affaires sordides de violences domestiques, de crimes, de problèmes mentaux et de viols. Il y a donc peu de risques de voir de sitôt se multiplier les familles avec un homme et plusieurs femmes – et inversement – vivant sous un même toit.